Friday, April 12, 2013

11 Months

I say this all the time, but where does the time go?!? 

Mason is now 11 months old and this comes with a whole flood of feelings - ones I didn't quite expect. I feel like I am now in the last month of having my little baby. I have always been a little sensitive to the fact that this is the only time I will have one baby and something about him being my first baby - so for this chapter to be coming to a close has me all sorts of emotional.

As I watch him play and learn and grow every day - I want to just scoop him up and keep him that way forever. I just love his little chubby baby hands with the dimples on his knuckles, his sweet chubby, round, kissable cheeks and the way they make his eyes disappear when he smiles, his soft chubby baby body, and his sweet little baby noises. My heart just aches thinking of how these things will all slowly disappear as he grows bigger. 

I became a mom with Mason and have learned and grown and become a different person because of his addition. I fell in love with being a mom and having a sweet little baby who is so much a part of me. I never knew what being a mom would be like and it is so much more than I could have ever hoped for. Sure, it has it's rough times and days that I would be willing to sell Mason - but there is a depth of love I have for him that I have never experienced. It feels like quite a spiritual bond and one I could never live without now. 

My moments of cuddling with Mason are few and far between - he often doesn't slow down enough to allow for any cuddling. So with my days of nursing numbered, I cherish our mornings in bed with him snuggled into the curves of my body - as if he fits perfectly next to me. His sweet, busy hands usually find their way to some piece of clothes, hair, or blanket to fiddle with as he eats. I stare in awe at the amazing miracle of life and am overwhelmed with the feeling of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the opportunity to have created such a perfect body. 

Putting Mason to bed is the only other time I get to be snuggled close to him. I wrap his blanket around him as he rests his head on my shoulder and sing him his song "You are my Sunshine" a couple times. These days, my singing often get interrupted when his puckered lips find mine for a kiss. It's then that my heart melts and my eyes well up with tears - this little babe is such a blessing. I finish by snuggling him tight and whispering in his ear how much I love him - which is sometimes answered back with some babbling.

So as all mom's before me have wished and failed to do, I wish I was the one who could learn to stop time. I know each new stage and age comes with their own excitement and wonder - but there is nothing quite like babyhood, and I'm just not ready to give that up yet.

So please stay small, Mr. Mason.

1 comment:

Maga said...