Saturday, June 16, 2012

Survived Another Day

Sometimes I get to the end of the day and wonder how we all managed to survive.

There are days that Mason thinks he is going to miss out on something that he refuses to fall asleep for his naps (and so ensues lots of crying). 
There are days that nursing hurts so bad I want to cry and feeding him is the last thing I want to do (luckily these are starting to get few and far between).
There are days that I crawl in bed and cry to Cameron and wonder why I am so bad at this.
There are days that I have no clue what I am doing and can't figure anything out with Mason.
There are days that I don't quite get the diaper on in time and there is pee everywhere.
There are days that he is the spit up king and we go through several outfits/burp cloths/cleanings.
There are days that I wonder exactly what made me want to have kids.
There are days that I wish that things could just go back to how they used to be.

But then, there is this:

The days that I see my sweet sleeping boy and my heart just melts.
The days when he looks right at me with his big blue-gray eyes.
The days that I am the only one who can calm him down - and I realize that it's because I am his mom.
The days when I could watch him lay on his blanket forever - he is just so focused on figuring out his body and this strange world. 
The days when he cuddles up next to me after I feed him in bed in the morning.
The days when the house is quiet and I can hear his sweet noises throughout the house.
The days I get to see his "stretching routine" when I unswaddle him (I have to get this on video, it's adorable).
The days when I get to see Cameron take such gentle care of our little boy.
The days that his little body just amazes me - it's so tiny and perfect.
The days when I can smell his sweet baby smell on his blanket, my clothes, etc.
The days when things actually click and I think "I got this."
The days when I can't imagine life without our little guy.

These are the days that get us through every other day.

8 comments:

Abbey said...

You are so cute!!! I love your thoughts and you are a GREAT mom...Don't worry, it will get better and it won't be like this for long. there will come a day, you will miss how easy and simple things were...Just wait and don't forget, it won't last for long. You are blessed and so is baby Mason

hbentley said...

Sweetest picture. Love your little guy and you are a great Mom. Being a Mom is hard. Don't get down on yourself. Any day that is hard let me know. I can come cuddle that guy.

Lynette said...

I love the pictures you post of Mason! Just so cute and sweet. You really never know what it is like to love a child until you have one of your own, do you.

Amy said...

Perfectly said. And you do "got this". :)

Shannon said...

I am in awe of you, Jill. Your world has completely changed... yet I see such strength and contentment in you. Mason and Cam are the luckiest to have you. I sure love you!

Maga said...

You'll forget all the uncomfortable things--just be grateful he's perfect!!!

The Daleys said...

I think doubt/worry/feeling inadequate just comes with the territory! You are so great with him, and are a great Mom!! Don't be so hard on yourself.

Unknown said...

i want to come see you! i officially start working part time july 1st. the next week, we should try to schedule something. ill text you!
i love you!